Questions about (only serious people answer please) I'm depressed as hell INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS?

In time, you'll come to regard it as something you did just in the heat of the moment.. when you're actually having an intimate moment with a girl you're close to, that should by all rights bury that insignificant experience. Try not to dwell on it. It felt good, you liked it, you asked for her to continue, she declined. Not a big deal.